When the clock strikes midnight on the first day of the new year, many of us decide to make a resolution or two. Much of the time, our resolutions are based on lifestyle decisions and changes that will benefit us physically, emotionally, or how we interact with others. They are promises to ourselves to become better in a specific area of struggle, and they are often personal.
While caregivers might make resolutions like many others on New Year’s Eve, they are much more likely to forget to take care of themselves because they have to put so much focus on providing care for their loved one. Since many caregivers also have jobs, school, or families to attend to as well as their caregiving duties, personal care can often be found low on the list of priorities.
One of the most important resolutions a caregiver can make is learning how to take care of themselves while providing care for others. If you are a caregiver, try to keep the following suggestions in mind to avoid being overwhelmed in providing care for your loved one.
1. Learn to ask for and accept help. Caregiving may seem like it is simply too much work to be done by one person: most of the time, it is. Many people experience caregiver burnout when they take sole responsibility for providing care. If you feel as though you are struggling, don’t be afraid to ask family members, friends or neighbors to assist you when you need it. A task as small as picking up a prescription or dry cleaning may seem miniscule to a friend, but it could ultimately end up saving you stress. Furthermore, establishing to your friends that you are in a stressful situation keeps them tuned in to the idea that you need a hand. If you consistently refuse help, people may stop offering over time.
2. Set time aside for yourself. Try to dedicate one hour a day where you focus on yourself and your well-being. Whether it’s taking a bath, meditating, reading a book or another relaxing past time, utilize that hour to make yourself feel better than you did before the hour started. To further avoid stress, you can wait until your loved one is sleeping, watching television or being taken care of by a friend to focus more fully on your personal needs.
3. Find an outlet. Writing in a journal can be very therapeutic and can help you vent and organize thoughts and feelings. Other great means of reducing stress include exercise, such as running or yoga. You can also pick up a new hobby; for example, you may not have ever tried painting in the past, but it could be something that reduces your stress – you could also show your loved one how to paint, as well, and turn it into a bonding activity.
4. Accept that you won’t always be right. Our loved ones may have a tendency to be stubborn – if they believe they’re right about something, no amount of convincing on your end will end up changing their mind. This is especially true of memory care patients. If you have a disagreement with your loved one, it’s often better to take their side so long as they are not in danger of hurting themselves physically, financially, etc.
5. Since you won’t always be right, learn to be patient. Your loved one may argue with you about irrational issues, or he or she may forget something you told them only ten minutes ago. Stay in control and don’t let these incidences get to you. Stay cheerful and firm and congratulate yourself for handling the situation to the best of your ability.
6. Don’t be hard on yourself if you do lose your patience…it’s inevitable.Nobody is expecting you to be a perfect caregiver. Caregiving is an extremely stressful job and you are not superman or superwoman – you are human, you will make mistakes, and it doesn’t mean you’re not doing the best you can. Let yourself feel vulnerable and keep in mind that you will always bounce back. Learn from situations that go wrong and don’t be afraid to lean on others when you need help.
7. Check out a caregiver support group. Caregiver support groups are a great resource that show how different people can have similar experiences while caregiving. They are a great outlet for discussing successes and issues and caregiving and can give you an opportunity to receive and provide advice to others. You may end up making a friend, finding a great source of caregiver respite or additional outside help.
8. Focus on the small stuff that means the most. Caregiving can seem pretty bleak at times, so put a lot of emphasis on the good that shines through. If your loved one really enjoys walks, embrace the time you get to spend pointing out favorite landmarks and natural beauty. If you both enjoy a particular artist or song, use the music to connect with your loved one and experience joy instead of stress. Take photos to remember days with great memories and look over them with your loved one so you can both reminisce about the wonderful time you had.
How can Oxnard Family Circle help?
Oxnard Family Circle provides respite care for the low cost of 79.00 per day and helps ensure that your loved one is well taken care of during the day while you are at home or at work. Caregivers can attend to their daily lives with the comfort of knowing that their loved one will be taken to Oxnard Family Circle in the morning and brought back home afternoon, will receive two meals a day, stimulation, entertainment, nursing care, exercise and socialization. Oxnard Family Circle has services including assistance with showering, assistance with feeding, and physical and occupational therapy to help your loved one stay healthy and out of a nursing home. Oxnard Family Circle also offers individual or group counseling and caregiver support groups twice a month to help caregivers join together and share their experiences with each other to become stronger individuals overall. Every second Saturday of the month we have an event called Garden of Memories Cafe for individuals with mild to mid stages of memory loss and their caregivers. This gives friends and family members a chance to socialize, participate in activities and access resources that will help provide care beyond our center.
Oxnard Family Circle also offers additional respite care on weekday afternoons and the 2nd and 4th Saturday of each month. Your loved one can receive care from our center until 5:00 p.m. Monday through Friday and from 10:00 a.m. until 1:00 p.m. on Saturdays. Saturday respite includes stimulating activities and lunch as well as respite for caregivers.
This year, let Oxnard Family Circle help you take care of yourself and your loved one and keep the stress to a minimum. Our goal is to be able to help you focus on the joys of caregiving and maintaining a balance in your busy life.
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