1. Be patient with your loved one. Dementia slows the cognitive process and it may take longer for your loved one to remember simple tasks, certain memories, people, or places. Even if he or she is in their own home, they may find certain areas of their home unfamiliar or forget how to get from place to place. Remember that your loved one might be equally as frustrated, if not more frustrated with their dementia than you might be. It is an aggravating and disheartening feeling to lose your memory, so use simple instruction and your best understanding when communicating with dementia or Alzheimer’s individuals.
2. Let your loved one do what they can by themselves. Nobody likes to feel helpless, and as those with Alzheimer’s age they may feel frustration with not being able to care for themselves. Include your loved one by letting them participate in caregiving activities with you or managing certain tasks by themselves. If your loved one can safely do so, consider laying out their clothes for them and letting them dress themselves. Creating a sense of independence is crucial at any age, and when many areas of independence have been eliminated due to old age (such as driving or working), even something as simple as being able to dress yourself can boost that feeling of independence.
Another suggestion is letting your loved one participate in activities that keeps the mind active and gives them a sense of accomplishment. For example, if you are cooking dinner for them, try letting them help you measure ingredients and mix them together, or let them stir food cooking on the stove (under caution and your supervision). This sense of teamwork is extremely beneficial for your loved one because it allows them to feel helpful and can help reinforce their capabilities.
3. Reduce household distractions during mealtime or conversations, such as television and loud music. Try to establish a quiet time during the day for your loved one, and if possible use this time to relax, play memory games or hold a session of “memory time”: try playing familiar music, looking at pictures of family members or friends, or use animal flashcards to improve memory.
4. Try to keep your loved one’s schedule consistent so that they will not be as easily confused. Take note of what time of day your loved one is most calm and complacent and schedule doctor’s appointments, bathing and other activities according to this time. Even if it is difficult for your loved one to remember, be sure to remind them frequently if an appointment or outing is coming up.
5. Prepare to expect the unexpected and to accommodate needs at random. As your loved one progresses into dementia they may become very irrational or change their mind frequently. Your loved one may decide at random that they are no longer fond of their favorite food, that they have a particular outfit that they want to wear on a daily basis, or forget who you are. If your loved one suddenly detests their favorite food, find a healthy alternative. If they prefer a single outfit, consider buying identical or similar outfits that will make them feel more comfortable. If possible, keep a picture of your loved one and yourself nearby. Photos of your loved one with other family members or close friends may help reinforce memories of their relationships with others, including you.
6. Understand the difference between your loved one and the disease. When a person with dementia gets frustrated they may make irrational accusations against you or others; blaming you for something you didn’t do, or even make up stories that are not true. If this occurs, simply apologize to your loved one (arguing that they are mistaken could agitate them even more) and try to find a reason behind their frustration. Ask why they feel how they do, and if there is anything that you can do. Dementia can sometimes intertwine past memories and current situations, and different messages that individuals with dementia process may not always be sound or rational thoughts. Keep in mind that this is often the disease talking; not your loved one, and address the situation in the best way that you can to make them feel better.
Seeking Help and Supporting The Cause
All caregivers are strongly encouraged to join a caregivers support group. Caregiver support groups are extremely beneficial, as they provide an opportunity for caregivers to unite and discuss their experiences in caregiving. Being able to bond with other caregivers and sharing similar experiences helps remind individuals that they are not alone in their efforts to provide care for their loved ones. Oxnard Family Circle Adult Day Health Care Center provides a support group twice a month to help provide advice and a chance to speak out for all caregivers.
Oxnard Family Circle ADHC encourages all caregivers to consider respite during the day from caregiving. Adult Day Health Care gives you the option to take care of your loved one in the evening and live with the comfort of knowing your loved one is secure and well taken care of during the day. Oxnard Family Circle also offers a Memory Care Unit with specialized care toward Alzheimer’s and dementia individuals.
On September 15th and 22nd, Oxnard Family Circle will be joining the Alzheimer’s Association in the Walk to End Alzheimer’s. Donations and volunteers are greatly appreciated for this cause, in hoping to find a cure for the disease that affects so many of our loved ones.
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